by Rachel Vilencia on Sunday, March 13, 2011 at 11:01pm
you move through my mind
planting what ifs
possibilities without end
a jigsaw fit
round and straight together
tightly completing the image
of perfect togetherness
dreams germinate
as our history unfolds
we have never left
eachothers thoughts
so step deeper and know
and reap
and sow
we will harvest it
side by side
and the fields
you helped plant
will nourish us both
Friday, February 24, 2012
Crooked
by Rachel Vilencia on Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 8:34pm
make straight this path
that veered off into selfishness
smooth the trouble chisled edges
designed to keep help at bay
remind me that things
don't have to be so tough
partner me with strength again
give way for healing peace
not more emotional regurgitations
coulda shoulda woulda beens
just what can forever be
walking in promises as yet unfulfilled
take the things no one sees
the emptiness, insecurity
fear of failure and lack of trust
and replace them with the knowledge
that nothing can fail in your love
or be separated from your grace
make straight this path
bring it back to where I was
before I stopped hearing
before I forgot my place
and make this vessel
able to carry your purpose again
make straight this path
that veered off into selfishness
smooth the trouble chisled edges
designed to keep help at bay
remind me that things
don't have to be so tough
partner me with strength again
give way for healing peace
not more emotional regurgitations
coulda shoulda woulda beens
just what can forever be
walking in promises as yet unfulfilled
take the things no one sees
the emptiness, insecurity
fear of failure and lack of trust
and replace them with the knowledge
that nothing can fail in your love
or be separated from your grace
make straight this path
bring it back to where I was
before I stopped hearing
before I forgot my place
and make this vessel
able to carry your purpose again
New Day
by Rachel Vilencia on Friday, April 1, 2011 at 12:41am
Stay with me
While the sun creeps up over the bay
Dawn breaks
And this new day brings promise
Linger here
In this moment of perfection
No words
Just be still
It is not often that we
Can just enjoy
Eachother
Without the pressure of this life
Hold me
Not too tight
But close enough to feel
Your heartbeat on my face
This moment
This perfect moment
Is enough to get me to
The promise of the next new day
Stay with me
While the sun creeps up over the bay
Dawn breaks
And this new day brings promise
Linger here
In this moment of perfection
No words
Just be still
It is not often that we
Can just enjoy
Eachother
Without the pressure of this life
Hold me
Not too tight
But close enough to feel
Your heartbeat on my face
This moment
This perfect moment
Is enough to get me to
The promise of the next new day
Untried
by Rachel Vilencia on Thursday, July 14, 2011 at 11:11pm
Not one to go with the status flow
Rebel without a pause
Asking why when others wouldn't
And not accepting "Just because"
Weaving in and out of the lines
Some would have me stay inside
Busy airbrushing my own landscape
You don't know my life ;)
With the intention of living each day
As though it never lasts
Keeps me focused on the present
Not what's future or what's past
On this fantastic voyage
Just enjoying the bumpy ride
In line for the mammoth wooden coaster
And the road as yet untried
Rebel without a pause
Asking why when others wouldn't
And not accepting "Just because"
Weaving in and out of the lines
Some would have me stay inside
Busy airbrushing my own landscape
You don't know my life ;)
With the intention of living each day
As though it never lasts
Keeps me focused on the present
Not what's future or what's past
On this fantastic voyage
Just enjoying the bumpy ride
In line for the mammoth wooden coaster
And the road as yet untried
To Spite
Monday, November 14, 2011
I always lose you along the way
perturbed that you don't keep up
The moment I realize
you're not there
sadness
Aloneness
cursed loneliness
Indentured solitude
restrained
Contained
subjective
to will and want alike
Only free with love taken
never given
To spite
perturbed that you don't keep up
The moment I realize
you're not there
sadness
Aloneness
cursed loneliness
Indentured solitude
restrained
Contained
subjective
to will and want alike
Only free with love taken
never given
To spite
Alive
Alive
miles away
smiles away
and I wish you were here
just to talk
in close proximity
instead of on frequencies unseen
to smell you
touch you
taste you
would be divine
worth the wait
the time
the frustration
the truth in your voice
your contagious smile
the confident way
you guide me to you
I am either the luckiest
or the most helplessly foolish
woman alive
smiles away
and I wish you were here
just to talk
in close proximity
instead of on frequencies unseen
to smell you
touch you
taste you
would be divine
worth the wait
the time
the frustration
the truth in your voice
your contagious smile
the confident way
you guide me to you
I am either the luckiest
or the most helplessly foolish
woman alive
Brooke
Since I wrote my last blog my faith crisis is in full swing. My cousin had that sweet baby and named her Brooke Lynn Proske. She died on the last day of January at 5 months and 15 days old. Her funeral was February 5th. Exactly one year since Stella died. I find it hard not to cry and not to question. I am so sad and so concerned for Lena and Mike. Chris is still fighting - I just don't know how they find the strength.
I have never been good at keeping up with blogging, although I've tried on many occassions. I almost never go back and read what I have written so forgive any errors. I am my harshest critic.
I have decided to post the poems I have written. They are the most direct path to how I feel and who I am. Perhaps sharing will help me get through. This has been my hardest year and I cannot imagine how those closest to Stella and Brooke can handle losing them. Prayers are appreciated and much required.
I have never been good at keeping up with blogging, although I've tried on many occassions. I almost never go back and read what I have written so forgive any errors. I am my harshest critic.
I have decided to post the poems I have written. They are the most direct path to how I feel and who I am. Perhaps sharing will help me get through. This has been my hardest year and I cannot imagine how those closest to Stella and Brooke can handle losing them. Prayers are appreciated and much required.
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