Consolation

No one wins
When no one plays fair
And admits when they are wrong

No one sees
The pain they cause
When singing their own painful song

No one loves
As good as they do
When the one they love is finally lost

No one knows
How it could have turned out
When no one can accept the cost

Daisy

This ridiculous beast
Hairy and white
Sleeps on my pillow
When I am not watching

She sheds on my carpet
In my car and my house
And bellows for me to
Take her walking

She loves me at all times
She's happy to see me
Wags her body
And gives me a smile

I never knew a person
Could love a beast so much
Or take such liking to a furball
and regard as a child

Finely

We have diced it up
Pulverized it
Hit puree and stuck in a hand

I can't keep blaming you
And blaming myself
It just is what it is

How many times must we say the same words?
Are we thinking the meanings will change?
Maybe if we played them backwards...

There have never been kisses
More sweet and never have tears
Fallen more bitterly

No matter how much anger
How many broken promises
I still need to know you're ok

So we re-hash
Rip off the band aid
And chop up our hearts again - finely

An Invocation for Beginnings by ZE Frank

“Don’t call it a comeback I’ll have hair for years. I’m scared. I’m scared that my abilities are gone.

I’m scared that I’m gonna f*ck this up.  And I’m scared of you.

I don’t wanna start but I will. This is an invocation for anyone who hasn’t begun.

Who’s stuck in a terrible place between zero and 1.

Let me realize that my past failures in follow through are no indication of my future performance,

They are just healthy little fires that are gonna warm up my a$$

If my FILDI is strong let me keep him in a velvet box until I really really need him

If my FILDI is weak let me feed him oranges and not let him gorge himself on ego and arrogance

Let me not hit up my facebook like it’s a crack pipe

Keep the browser closed

If I catch myself wearing a tootoo – too fat too late too old

Let me shake it off like a donkey would shake off something it doesn’t like

And when I get that feeling in my stomach, you know that feeling when all of a sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs and up into your arms and it tells you get up and stand up and go to the refrigerator and get a cheese sandwich?  That’s my cheese monster talking and my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar – only the cheese of accomplishment.

Let me think about the people who I care about the most and how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them.  Let me extend that generosity to myself. 

Let me find and use metaphors to help me understand the world around me and give me the strength to get rid of them when it is apparent they no longer work. 

Let me thank the parts of me that I don’t understand or are out of my rational control, like my creativity and my courage.  And let me remember that my courage is like a wild dog and won’t just come when I call it.  I have to chase it down and hold on as tight as I can. 

Let me not be so vain to think that I’m the sole author of my victories and a victim of my defeats.

Let me remember that the unintended meaning that people project onto what I do is neither my fault or something that I can take credit for.

Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes but he’s a little bit of an a$$hole and no one invites him to their pool parties.

Let me remember that the impact of criticism is often not the intent of the critic.  But when the intent is evil, that’s what the block button’s for.  But when I eat my critique let me be able to separate out the good advice from the bitter herbs.

Let me not think of my work only as a stepping stone to something else.  And if it is, let me become fascinated with the shape of the stone.

Let me take the idea that has gotten me this far and put it to bed.  What I’m about to do will not be that but it will be something.

There is no need to sharpen my pencils anymore, my pencils are sharp enough – even the dull ones will make a mark.  Warts and all, let’s start this shit up.  And God let me enjoy this!  Life isn’t just a sequence of waiting for things to be done.”

ashow.zefrank.com